miracle

so strange that even after having two kids i find it hard to believe that i have actually had two kids. as i was rocking cole tonight thinking about how fast two and a half months have gone by and how he is so big, i looked over at ben who is two and a half years old and it has gone by even faster. how are both of these little people are mine? they are part of me. i helped to create their bodies and gave them life. even after carrying them and giving birth to them it is still miraculous that we as humans, especially as women, have that power, that gift. all i can think is how did i get so lucky? they may push me to a limit i didn't know was possible, but at the end of every day i am so so grateful for the opportunity to be their mom. i hope they can grow up knowing how much i adore them and that they have made me a better, stronger person than i ever would have been without them.

more brothers

i have problem. i can't post just one picture. it is impossible to narrow down pictures objectively when they are your own kids. the result: lots of pics (possibly very similar) on the blog.

night terrors

night terrors are the strangest phenomenon. if i had not experienced them first hand i would think that they are just intense nightmares. wrong. they are freaky. ben wakes up screaming and then kicks and screams at me that he wants mommy and then he sits in his bed moaning like a lost puppy. sometimes he will beg for random food items: juice, cereal, or a sandwich which he demands to the point of hysteria. i get it for him and then he ignores it. this goes on until suddenly the lights turn back on in his head and suddenly he is back to my sweet little boy telling me the most random of stories. then he lays back down and is out in 2 seconds. and i sit there staring at this sweet little angel thinking what on earth just happened?

nighttime horrors

sleep at my house is sacred. the schedule and routine are there for a reason. keep mommy sane. this past week ben has decided to throw all of that out the window. he does not want to take a nap and refuses to go to bed. his bedtime routine used to be 5 minutes long: change diaper, put on pjs, brush teeth, say prayers, turn on sounds, get tucked in, hug and kiss, and goodnight. the last few nights it has taken me 2 hours to get him to bed! and it has been a kicking, screaming, knock down drag out fight. complete with puking all over his bed one of the nights. awesome. oh and he thinks he needs to come and get in bed with me every night around 1:30 in the morning. did i mention that scott is on night shift right now so i am completely alone at bedtime with a screaming 2 and a half year old and 2 month old? so great. the question of the day is will i survive?

halloween party!

 i love halloween cupcakes. . . obviously!

 eyeballs dipped in blood can be quite delicious too.

 the bruderer crew!

 amber: finding nemo (you had to be there), april: bumblebee, sally: mermaid, adri: duck (aka duckaholic)

 steve: indiana jones, michelle: miriam, calvin: dumbo, sally: mermaid, weston: lightning mcqueen, adri: duck

 kara and grant: windblown . . . awesome

 jason: mob boss, scott: construction worker, ben: football superstar

 wait a minute . . . since when do football players have tommy guns?

 britta: witch, cole: skeleton

 eating fingers and eyeballs

all the girls with grandma fowler!

down . . . set . . . hike!!!

 are you ready for some football?

 down . . . set . . . blue 42 . . . hike!!

 quarterback is in motion . . .

 and the throw . . .

 complete for a first down!! 

(the receiver looks a lot like the quarterback)

 but wait!! there is a late hit!

 oh it is just daddy!

all in a day's work. 

the really funny thing about scott's construction worker costume is that all of the neighbors looked out their window and thought,"why is that guy working on sunday? and why is he playing with ben?" they didn't realize it was scott until they came outside to investigate! 

the cutest skeleton

the funniest part about this costume is that he is a total chunk these days. not the scrawny newborn of a few short weeks ago! we weighed him a couple of days ago and he is 12 lbs!!

other fun cole facts:

1. he is a sleeper! he regularly does 4-6 hour stretches at night! i only get up once at night to feed him!

2. he loves his big brother. when we are in the car and i can't get cole his binki i will tell ben to hold cole's hand to make him happy. ben will grab his hand and say, "it's okay cole." cole will calm down almost immediately.

3. he always has to look at my face when i hold him. he will pull his head back to look at me if he is upright on my shoulder.

4. he is a grunter. if he needs something he grunts before he gives crying a try. now that he is starting to find his voice he will "ask" nicely for help. then grunt. then if he is desperate he will cry.

5. he loves baths. he will lounge in the tub and talk and talk. so cute.

6. he has the sweetest smile ever! he smiles with his eyes. the corners turn down when he smiles really big. love it!

halloween treat

 what cute brothers!

i did it!

today i ran three errands with both boys. one stop included the grocery store. i was dreading going to the grocery store with both boys because i only have two hands and cole would need to ride in the cart and i wasn't sure how ben would adapt to having to walk most of the time. but we did it! no major meltdowns and almost everything on the list! hooray! i know all the grocery store excursions won't always have happy endings, but at least our first trip did!

i heart running . . . really i do

running is my drug. seriously.  which is funny because i used to loathe running. i would rather do anything except for run. but after i ditched my antidepressants a few years ago i discovered the runners high and now i am never going back. yesterday i went for my first run since having cole. it felt amazing! just to have that endorphin high again was incredible. running keeps the blues away and hopefully will give me some semblance of my normal body soon.

pumpkin patch

 

i LOVE pumpkin patches! when i was a kid we just got our pumpkins from the grocery store. it worked but it wasn't much of an adventure. we have gone to a pumpkin patch three years in a row now and i hope we can go forever. 

 

you can't test drive the pumpkins at the grocery store. 

the following is the proper technique for picking a pumpkin as demonstrated by ben.

 

1. make sure you pick the perfect pumpkin.

2. bend and lift with your legs. not your back.

3. haul it to your cool wagon.

 

problem is sometimes pumpkins are heavy and roads are bumpy so mommy needs to help. (look i exist!)

 

and if pumpkins aren't enough fun . . .

 

tractors!!! 

 

this is when ben is done. he says, "no more pitchers a ben mommy! go away!" like he ever looks at the camera anyway. nice try ben. the camera will always be in your face! i promise it is out of love!

i hope someday you will thank me!

snake

Yesterday Ben and I were outside playing with our buddies Daphne, Joseph and Beth. Daphne found a centipede and Ben and Joseph were thrilled. Ben wanted to hold it and Joseph kept calling it a "snake." I told Ben it was a centipede, but he liked Joseph's description better, so a snake it was. After a while this poor centipede grew tired of being handled by so many tiny hands so he curled up on himself trying to block them out. Ben looked up at me and said, "Mommy! He died!" Beth and I busted up laughing. But Daphne go the centipede to unroll and then Ben yelled, "He wake up now! He not dead!" Long live centipedes. (not really. I loathe centipedes.)

all aboard!

 Today while playing "choo choo twains" with Ben he once again said the funniest thing ever. We built the track and hooked all of the trains together and then he stopped looked up and said,"Choo choo! All aboard!!" And then he put two fingers up to his mouth like he was whistling, but of course he only blew out air, so he said, "Whoo whoo!" I was laughing so hard! Where does this kid come up with this stuff?