miracle

so strange that even after having two kids i find it hard to believe that i have actually had two kids. as i was rocking cole tonight thinking about how fast two and a half months have gone by and how he is so big, i looked over at ben who is two and a half years old and it has gone by even faster. how are both of these little people are mine? they are part of me. i helped to create their bodies and gave them life. even after carrying them and giving birth to them it is still miraculous that we as humans, especially as women, have that power, that gift. all i can think is how did i get so lucky? they may push me to a limit i didn't know was possible, but at the end of every day i am so so grateful for the opportunity to be their mom. i hope they can grow up knowing how much i adore them and that they have made me a better, stronger person than i ever would have been without them.

more brothers

i have problem. i can't post just one picture. it is impossible to narrow down pictures objectively when they are your own kids. the result: lots of pics (possibly very similar) on the blog.

night terrors

night terrors are the strangest phenomenon. if i had not experienced them first hand i would think that they are just intense nightmares. wrong. they are freaky. ben wakes up screaming and then kicks and screams at me that he wants mommy and then he sits in his bed moaning like a lost puppy. sometimes he will beg for random food items: juice, cereal, or a sandwich which he demands to the point of hysteria. i get it for him and then he ignores it. this goes on until suddenly the lights turn back on in his head and suddenly he is back to my sweet little boy telling me the most random of stories. then he lays back down and is out in 2 seconds. and i sit there staring at this sweet little angel thinking what on earth just happened?